After our wedding on Easter monday 2006, we were meant to leave for Abuja together as husband and wife. On that fateful, ex-husband and his sister had loaded everything they packed for him in the trunk of his then Mercedes 230 whilst I was busy with my luggage waiting for mine to equally go in. I had a medium mortal I took from the properties my family bought for me and requested they load it in as well for me. As soon as I said that, ex-husband flared up, and before my eyes brought down my luggage and flung it outside their gate. In his words, he said, “Stay back here. I don’t have time for this nonsense.” A friend of mine who had come over to join us on the trip stood by and witnessed what happened. I was speechless. I felt the ground should open and swallow me. In confusion, I stood still and watched him zoom off whilst his father and younger sister bade him farewell.

I picked up my suitcase and walked aimlessly out of sight. Went to my mother’s, and after opening up on what had happened, my mother wept. The following day, she took me back home and invited one of my uncles to accompany us to ex-husband’s family house. We met his father, who insisted his son was not returning for any peace talk when my uncle requested he ask his son to return home so we could settle whatever it was. His father said that would never happen that I had to stay with him in the village until they both agreed. For peace to reign, my mother pleaded with me to stay in the village with them, and I did. Within the period I was in their family house, ex-husband’s father was the dictator. My maternal home was a stone throw from their house, but I was not allowed to visit. One day, I went to visit my grandfather. All hell was, let loose. Father in law fumed and asked on whose permission I visited? And I asked him, “You mean visit my maternal home or where?” He felt I had the audacity to challenge him. Sister in law communicated what happened to ex-husband, and he called to warn me and threatened to leave me in the village indefinitely if I went against his family’s orders 🤔

During my stay with them, my uncle’s wife one day paid me a visit, She was stopped at the gate and queried why she came to see me with a flask of food. I sat hopelessly and only looked on. This was totally new to me. I have never been in that sort of situation in my entire life. I questioned myself yet again how I got here.

The only thing I could remember that transpired between me and his sister was when she wanted to shop for my wedding gown and accessories. I said no, I’d do it myself. And I did. It was later I found out she wasn’t happy with that. She’s not fashionable and does not have style and panache, so I didn’t see her making the right choices of accessories for me reason I didn’t want her to shop for me.

The night of our wedding, ex husband called a meeting between his sister and I and told me to my face that if I want to remain in the marriage, what his sister says stands and the ball is in my court 🙃. Uwam.

Finally, after two weeks of staying in the village with his family, father in law approved my joining him, and he called me on the phone to get ready to travel to Abuja. I was already in my first trimester whilst these happened. Before I travelled to join him, sister in law one day asked me to march palm fruits for red oil processing 🤣. I told her mba nu…she called her brother who in turn put a call across to me and queried why i objected his sister’s instructions when I told him I couldn’t do it because I was pregnant. He said, “Are you the first person to ever get pregnant?” And it was counted for me as disobedience.